The 100 Worst Movies of the '10s, #83: SWISS ARMY MAN (2016)

95. THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN (2016)
94. TRUTH OR DARE? (2018)
93. MORTDECAI (2015)
92. MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT (2014)
91. ANNABELLE (2014)
90. LIVE BY NIGHT (2017)
89. SAFE HAVEN (2013)
88. PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2 (2015)
87. DARK CRIMES (2016)
86. THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)
85. ONLY GOD FORGIVES (2013)
84. GROWN UPS 2 (2013)
83. SWISS ARMY MAN (2016)



Yes, I know, a lot of people are very fond of this movie. I'm not.

I get how the very funny premise buys it a little bit of understanding. A man named Hank (Paul Dano), stranded on a desert island, is about to kill himself. Then at the last second, he sees someone floating to shore. Hank figures this to be the sign that he should try to survive, even though the man on shore (Daniel Radcliffe) is very much dead.

I wish the movie had stuck with its first conceit in the use of Radcliffe as the dead body, named "Manny" by his living companion. Hank finds all sorts of uses for the titular Swiss Army Man: he uses him to crack open coconuts, he stores fresh water in his stomach, he uses his farts to propel the two of them like a jetski through water.

But then directors Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert abandon the most interesting aspect of their movie and focus on the triter relationship between Hank and his imaginary friend. I suppose there's a place for such a friendship, a sort of parody of Tom Hanks's "Wilson!" buddy in Cast Away, but the directors seem dead set on taking a novel, silly idea to hackneyed, boring places.

Give credit to Radcliffe for committing to this very strange role, and to Dano for earnestly playing his very not-strange one. When the movie finally reveals its game in the last act, it feels less like pulling the rug out from under itself than it does throwing a wet blanket over itself. The significance of Mary Elizabeth Winstead's character (who turns up in flashbacks throughout) is a groaner, and casts a shadow over the Hank character, making him seem not only pathetic but predatory. Matt Zoller Seitz, writing for rogerebert.com, quipped that "One thing you definitely can't say about Swiss Army Man is 'Oh, not that again.'" I'll say it: not another movie where a dangerous lunatic's fantasies are portrayed as cute and twee. Not that again.