On films that did NOT reinvigorate the silent film in America: I WOKE UP EARLY THE DAY I DIED (1998)

In the late '90s, possibly stemming from the newfound interest generated by Tim Burton's fantastic Ed Wood, a film was made from one of Edward D. Wood, Jr.'s, unproduced screenplays.  Wood was the auteur who brought us Bride of the Monster, Glen or Glenda?, and Plan Nine from Outer Space, and is widely considered to be the worst director of all time.  The overt inanity of his movies, combined with the notoriety given to him by Burton's film, shotgunned Wood to high camp status.  And thus we have I Woke Up Early the Day I Died, which aims to be a modern-day faithful emulation of Mr. Wood's style, if you can call it that.  It means to present itself exactly as Mr. Wood would have, had he been given the chance to direct it himself.

Does it succeed?  If I say yes, does that really explain anything?

The mastermind behind it, by all accounts, was Billy Zane, who had just previously given the one non-praised performance in the most successful movie of all time.  Zane was co-producer and editor of the film, and stars in the lead role.  The director is Aris Iliopulos, whose first film this was and who has not directed since.  Was it Zane's intention to put an inexperienced director behind the camera, so he might turn out to be as inept as Wood?  Could be.

And that's not the bombshell.  The bombshell is that Zane gathered around him a gargantuan all-star cast.  To list them would be exhausting, but they include Christina Ricci, Eartha Kitt, John Ritter, Tippi Hedren, Ron Perlman, Karen Black, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Taylor Negron.  Many of them appear in almost-unrecognizable cameos.

Is this film proof that a good movie can be wrung from the hands of one of the most inept filmmakers of all time?  Certainly not.  I Woke Up Early, I have a feeling, accurately transfers the badness from Wood's script through to the screen.  The fragmented plot and proclivity for debauchery are undoubtedly Wood's, and the film has the grainy atmosphere of a no-budget Z-movie from his era.

The main criticism of I Woke Up Early, upon its release, was that it was an intentionally bad film, and thus couldn't replicate Wood's accidentally bad films.  But the cynicism actually lines up with Wood's work fairly well; many have forgotten just how cynical a filmmaker Wood was, and much of his badness came from his condescension to his own material.  He knew most of what he was making was schlock; many of the films he made were meant to be "moneymakers" so that he could make the really good films.  Glen or Glenda? was an attempt to shoehorn his own struggle with transvestism into a commissioned film about a transsexual.  Plan Nine from Outer Space was a last-ditch effort to turn a few minutes of footage of Bela Lugosi into the horror legend's "last film." Though Wood was reportedly an enthusiastic filmmaker who loved every shot of his lousy films, his intentions were never quite so pure.

At the center of the film is Mr. Zane, who plays an escaped mental patient who robs a loan office, loses the money, and spends the bulk of the film on a killing spree trying to find the money.  The plot makes little sense, but Zane's performance is inspired; he bravely hurls himself violently through every inch of the film.  I've always felt he was an underrated comic actor; he has the pitch-perfect facial mugging of a melodramatic silent film actor, and it's a shame his comic ability is not put to use more often.  He is the film's only real through-line, as most of the all-star cast weaves in and out of the movie as if appearing by accident.

The movie's biggest downside is that it was written as a silent film.  There is no dialogue, and Wood aficionados will confirm that the distinctively clunky dialogue is one of the greatest joys of watching his movies.  The absence of lines like "The future will affect all of us in the future" deprives the film of part of what made Wood an icon.

Still, the movie passes this test: if Wood had actually directed it, I have a feeling it would be like this.  It's certainly not a good movie.  At times it's a trial to watch, though it does have its share of funny moments; with this cast, it would be hard to be a complete failure.

It is what it is.  If you have any aversion to camp, stay far, far, away.  If witnessing the last gasp from America's most legendary talentless artist means anything to you, it will be worth a shot.

** 1/2 out of ****

I Woke Up Early the Day I Died is pretty much completely unavailable on DVD or video.  It is viewable on Youtube here.  As the only available print was a German release, certain captions are in German; the English translation is in the Youtube annotations.